Stranger kindness, not stranger danger

I was writing my thesis on acts of kindness and compassion between strangers in the summer of 2020. I didn’t really talk about it. As a white / privileged woman, I felt it was the wrong time to take up space with commentary of any kind, let alone with a message that seemed anemic at best: Show kindness to strangers paled as a response to racial and systemic upheaval. Additionally, I was told it wasn’t scalable, a characteristic we practitioners have co-opted from the business world.

The news since (shocked face!) has not improved. But my underlying belief has. Recently, I gathered with other alumni of the Master of Applied Positive Psychology program at the University of Pennsylvania. While talking about the war in Gaza,  the concept of “whoever saves one life saves the world entire” surfaced. Something inside me clicked: This is what I was talking about. Thank you, Sharon Danzger, for reminding me that good doesn’t need to be big to be valuable.

As we approach the holidays, I am reminded of the story that drew me to my thesis subject to begin with: a troubled young person who felt her daily coffee run provided the only spark of kindness she had — those baristas, in fact, kept her from taking her own life, even though they had no idea. A tiny drop of good in a sea of bad is sometimes enough. So here’s a short list of what stranger kindness can look like in action: Acknowledge that everyone is in some sort of struggle. Make eye contact and let people be seen. Give a compliment for someone’s hustle, attitude, or for just showing up. Tip generously if you can. Let people go in front of you in the grocery line or in traffic. Assume positive intent. Or tell someone that seeing them made your day — it costs you nothing, and it could mean literally everything to them. Happy Holidays, CJ